You Think You know...

New Voice Company stages EKSENA'T KANTA (Scenes & Songs) on June 1

Wed, 28 May 2008 06:18:43 GMT

- Friends, nandito ako, so manood kayo! :) -

The New Voice Company, Asia's Pioneering Theatre Company, will be staging its 2008 Musical Theatre Workshop Showcase, EKSENA'T KANTA (Scenes & Songs), on June 1, 2008, 12 Noon, at the RCBC Theatre (RCBC Tower, Ayala Avenue, Makati City).

The showcase, directed by two of Philippine and International Theatre's most celebrated actors and directors, Rito Asilo and Monique Wilson, features the talents of the 2008 NVC Workshop Students. The show will also include the special participation of noted NVC alumni, such as acclaimed Philippine Theatre and Television actress, Missy Maramara.

Plus, it features ME! And I'm worth more than the price of admission. Hehe. :) Panira, ano?

The New Voice Company has always been known to produce shows of the highest standard possible, this showcase is no exception. (I'm not one to lie, and I'm telling you, its going to be a great show!)

Tickets are at P150, and you can call 8966695 / 8965497 / 8990630 or visit the site (http://newvoicecompany.com) for reservations & other details. I'm sure you can also buy tickets on the day itself, but you have to be quick, because these things have been known to run out. :)

For those who can stay 'til 7 PM, some of us from the workshop will also be performing in NVC's V-DAY: back-to-back performances of A MEMORY, A MONOLOGUE, A RANT
AND A PRAYER and THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES. This will also be on June 1 at the RCBC Theatre.

The stellar cast features Philippine Theatre's finest - Bart Guingona, Michael Williams, and Monique Wilson, just to name a few. You can visit the site for the complete cast and other show information. All V-Day Manila Events benefit the Lila Filipina Comfort Women group.

What better way to kick-off June than to partake of NVC's season offerings?

See you there!

I feel as if I'm going to burst.

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:30:27 GMT

It's been that way for a long time now.

Half a year?

Since I realized I had no right to keep a journal.
Since I realized that I have no right to write about things actually happening in my life.
Since things bigger than myself actually started happening.

I'm only one person.

I'm not even me anymore. I tried writing in the journal again, and I was still pretending. Hollow details of the day littered with pleasantries, positive outlook accentuated by countless perky exclamation points like the grammar of those bloggers I love to hate. Add sparkly marquee text and my transformation would be complete.

But it's all soulless. I browse through the pages and they might as well be scrawled with heiroglyphics for all I can read of them.

Pathetic. Putting up a face for several blank sheets of paper that couldn't even care less.

Then I stopped writing. My left hand has already grown weary, but still the story is untold.

I've found a drastic shift in my writing as of late. The few stories that I have managed to write, if ever I do, now teeter on the fantastic - Pedophilic Mascots, Aliens at the SOGO. It's like inspiration now comes in random escapist spurts. Way back when I was writing everyday, I wrote about love and all that sappy shit.

Does that prove that love is the most real thing in the world?

Whatever that proves, I can't bring myself to write about it anymore. The pain sure is pretty damn real.

It's been that way for a long time now.

Since I fell out of touch with good friends.
Since I found myself unworthy of having friends that do more than crack jokes that we forget 10 minutes later.

But I need someone.
Anyone.
I need to let this out.

I don't feel real anymore.

Man. I'm going to need one hell of a cathartic pin.

The best Disney animated feature ever was never really for kids.

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:25:14 GMT

SANCTUARY!

Whattaword. I feel the power.

Thank God for summer. I can finally get back to watching my films.

Talk about counting your eggs. I haven't even finished with all my requirements yet.

Now here is a riddle,
to guess if you can
sing the bells of Notre Dame.
What makes a monster and what makes a man?

And whaaattapowerful score. Hugely due, no doubt, to how the choir and church bell tones were incorporated into the soundtrack (except for "Guy Like You". That entire scene was soooo awkward). I believe The Hunchback of Notre Dame was nominated for Best Music in the Oscars and Best Original Score in the Golden Globes. Too right, too. If Alan Menken fucks the way he composes, then he is better than sex.

Sorry for the ugly metaphor, but you must admit, the man and his tunes are boss, yo.
Seriously, <i>Beauty and the Beast</i>? Don't you just want to eat the man up?

Oh wow, I forgot what I was going to say next. I am drowning in "The Bells of Notre Dame"....

Anyway, I've also been drowning in Meteor Garden these past few days. First on my hitlist has always been those traitors who denounced the show the minute it turned jologs. The very same people who were moderating the Meteor Garden Philippines forum and brandishing their Make A Wish albums during the height of F4's popularity.

Nearly 5 years laters, I still miss Dao Ming Sz. :( If he smiled at me like that....

-----------------------------------

In other news,

March 19 was a tremendously spectacular day. What a way to end classes:

Geografilm 2008: Our film, Dokyu (which I wrote, directed, edited, acted in blah blah~~...o siya, magbuhat na ng sariling bangko~~ won Best Short Film (Suspense), Best Technicals, Best Original Story, and Overall Best Short Film! I also won Best Actress and Best Director ~~Kamusta ka naman?~~ I, however, was not there to reap the benefits (certificates and panlilibre ni sir sa group namin), because I was over at the -
PE2 Sport Climbing Interclass Competition: Our team, Papables (I was team captain, hence, the name. Thank you, Cake) won first place! ~~after a short awarding "Wait! Ibalik niyo medals niyo. Mali computation!" scandal.~~ My new CHK medal is made of shiny, wow-ngayon-ko-lang-napansin-na-C-H-K-pala-yung-hugis-nung-tao-sa-CHK-logo pseudo-gold win.
Submitted my Portfolio for Film 110. Wala lang. It's a nice feeling, after the yellow-nails-crammed-darkroon-shit that was the day before.
And: Something else. Very nice.

I lost something, though I didn't even notice.

And now, I have the Photo Exhibit on Wednesday and the Summer Musical theatre workshops. To cap it off, namumunga na ang punong Makopa namin!

P.S. Moves I wish I could do in real life, but let's face it, I cant -

The Evita - poised on the balcony, suddenly raising your arms to the cheers of your adoring subjects. Fran Drescher did it in The Beautician And The Beast, Ai-Ai did it in Ang Cute Ng Ina Mo, can't I do it? Probably only if I was the dictator of a latin american country.

Running to a church, raising a person over my head while yelling, "Sanctuary!" ~~Wait, I actually have done that in Church several times. That explains a lot....~~

And finally, Stage Diving. *sigh* Only if I were a Rock Star....

Crap.

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 06:01:25 GMT

Looks like summer's going to be just as shitty as last sem.

ETA: My head feels so light. Maybe I'll float away, like in all the Shel Silverstein books.

This is for real, y'all.

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:37:35 GMT

Heath Ledger is dead.

They found him in a NYC apartment, in the bed, naked, with sleeping pills at his side.

They found his body a little over 4 hours ago, the story went to the presses a little under an hour ago.

He was 28. He had a daughter.

I can't believe he's dead. They still haven't confirmed suicide, and I refuse to believe he went out like that. It's so weird that his movie career suddenly flashed before my eyes - the awkwardly-brunette bully in 10 Things, the innocent, idealistic son who got killed in The Patriot (seeing him in colonial garb made me think he'd be a perfect Teddy in a Little Women remake), and geeky grin in A Knight's Tale.

That smile. He was just a kid. There were supposed to be more movies....

Hay. Wala nang Brokeback....

Horrible Timing.

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 02:04:10 GMT

I'm just not a sensible person right now.

Life is unfair.

Screwed.

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 01:09:13 GMT

I just realized...

I don't have enough time to prepare for my prod.

Shit.

____________________________________________

I now associate Bob Marley's 3 Little Birds with a dog dying.

Damn you, I Am Legend!

Memage + Reflections on Skycable 2008/TARA

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 13:06:29 GMT

Is it so obvious that I'm trying to delay preparing for my prod?

From sigarilyo

Comment with a "hey, sup" and I'll:
1. tell you why I friended you.
2. associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. tell you something i like about you.
4. tell you a memory i have of you.
5. ask something i've always wanted to know about you.
6. tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. in return, you must post this in your lj--but only if you want.

_________________________________________

"I've got the Good Lord going down on me!" - Charlie, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Damn you, Jack TV. It's bad enough you ~~went over to the dark side~~ switched to Destiny, Did you have to take all the good shows like SNL and Late Night With Conan O'Brien with you?

I remember, the only thing on everybody's y!m lips when the New Year came was:

Alam mo ba kung nasan ang Jack TV?

It's gone. That, plus Velvet and the cancellation of Rated Oh and subsequent search for the new face of ETC (Oh noes! It's Sib all over again!) makes 2008, and possibly all years thereafter, not a good time for TV.

Good thing we still have Marc/Rovilson and Terri/Henry ~~drama~~ on The Amazing Race Asia. It's the only thing worth watching nowadays.

My brother asked why the teams are always asked to do such menial challenges instead of ones that truly show the nation's culture. Heck, instead of delivering supplies from a Caltex Station or assembling a bike while they were in the Philippines, dapat pinag-deliver sila ng Lechon (yung buo pa na nakatuhog sa kawayan) habang nagbibisikleta, o di kaya pinagdeliver ng kama na nakapasan sa likod nila.

That's Filipino.

ETA: Seriously, what the hell am I supposed to watch on Saturday nights? My Boys?? Screw you, Skycable.

New layout.

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 14:04:59 GMT

Went back to Basic Account. Realized those ugly ads were really stressing me out.

I'm trying to simplify my life.

P.S. Beautiful icons by sigarilyo

I have a confession to make...

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 03:28:03 GMT

I Cheated At The Vanilla Ghost House.

Call it my second childhood, along with my recent marathon of Jem episodes and the Christmas Eve bike ride through SM (I literally mean I was biking inside the mall).

The other day, I, for no reason, felt the urge to download NES applications. I've never been much of a gamer, I seem to be doing magic with these ~~childrens'~~ games. Albeit about a decade late.

Yesterday, I lost my head in Super Mario World - hours and hours of that cute red plumber. In one sitting, I went from start to The Forest of Illusion, which I believe is pretty darn good considering I've never played the game before.

Mario riding the river of fire! Looking so badass, might I add.

This is where I currently am, I think its A in the Forest of Illusions? I dunno, I've never paid much attention to levels and worlds. I said I wasn't a gamer, didn't I?

However, this level is not what I am here to talk about. I'm here about the level that immediately preceeded - the exceedingly-fucked-up Ghost House in Vanilla Dome. SPOILERS AHEAD.

As I am to ashamed to go back and retrieve screencaps, I shall describe it for those of you who have never laid eyes on the game as the world where dirty green bubbles and annoying smiley white poofs do abound to fuck you up. Fair enough?

As with all the Ghost Houses, you seemingly cannot jump on the ghosts (read: smiley poofs) like you can with the living roadblocks of koopa. While on that, might I say I take pleasure in having Yoshi, the dinosaur/koopa/??? Mario rides, eat EVERYTHING in our way. Especially those little mole bastards.

Ye shall all weep when Yoshi breathes fire. *evil laugh*

I digress, another annoyance of the Ghost Worlds is this you keep repeating the level. you dodge those small poofs, big poofs, see the yellow door of salvation at the end, go through it and - SHIT!!! You're back at the start of the room! WHAT THE HELL?

OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Now I know why John Cusack all but went crazy in 1408. Just seeing your time run out while you repeat the same level again and again and again made me want to burn the room too.

Being that this is a Ghost World, I knew there is ALWAYS a hidden exit (to prevent this clusterfuck from happening). But I couldn't find the damn thing! At first, I thought maybe it was that set of gold coins arranged like a door frame, but I stood under it and nothing happened. Yes, if I was actually a Mario gamer, I would know that you're supposed to place something under it.

Finally, due to the agony (and the fact that I was going out of my mind playing Mario at such a late hour), I succumbed to temptation, opened up YouTube, and watched a video of someone else completing the round.

(Yes! Ibang level na ang cheating ngayon! YouTube na. In fairness, there were a lot of videos of the Vanilla Ghost House, so obviously, it's one of the harder levels since there's a demand)

I'm so ashamed because I've never given up and used guides in the previous levels. Even when the going got tough (and I couldn't seem to time my jumps to get to the platform), I picked myself up and tried again. I thought I at least had the integrity to do this right.

In retrospect, it was actually an easy enough round to finish without guides. I had hit the unassuming gold platform before and watched the "P" siren come out. However, I had never thought to bring it to the door-shaped coins to activate the REAL exit.

And only during my last try did I discover that you can actually jump on the dirty green bubbles.

Damn it.

In other news:

The family and I went to the Tiangge at Lung Center, the single biggest and most amazing bazaar we've been going to for, what, 3 years? We're suki of the Food Trip at Lung Center, and I got full-to-queasy just on the Free Samples. Am presently hitting myself over the head for not getting the names of the stores and making a review.
Rikka, TCo, and Jenin came over yesterday to rehearse for our SFX prod. We didn't accomplish a lot, actually ended up backtracking (which happens increasing often in our meetings) and singing Lion King songs on the karaoke mics.
Sheryl Cruz just moved into the new house at the back of ours.
Meteor Garden marathon late last night. Di ko ma-take, ang pogi ni Dao Ming Si! AAAYY!!! BTW, F4 is making a comeback. They just released a new album, and their latest song, "Waiting For You" is already on Youtube, and I daresay I really like it.

All the guys with short do's - Vanness with Tropicana hair!

I noticed that, similar to Hitler's Nazis, hoardes of people later denied ever affiliating with the F4 fandom. However, like the Holocaust, we cannot deny its existence and the enormous impact of the phenomenon that enveloped all of us (and our hairstyles).

I don't care if they're laos. I'm not ashamed to say that I AM AN F4 FAN and I will watch them if they stage a concert in the Philippines.

And yes, I did buy Vanness' album back when the F4 Fever was still raging!

Hwooh. That was liberating.

Posting for the sake of posting?

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 15:48:22 GMT

You bet your left nut I am. LJ says I've been a very, very bad girl and haven't posted the shitload of developments that occured in the past month that I've been AWOL.

Hello 2008. I have plans for you, eljay. BIG plans.

Lord of the P.S.s(Spoiler)
Finally watched Rebecca just before New Year's. I have no idea what was in me that I actually thought it was a love story (given the one and only Sir Laurence Olivier's presence, in all his mustachioed glory) and not the Alfred Hitchcock, I-killed-my-wife-and-stowed-her-in-the-schooner's-cabin-for-a-year film that it actually was.

I liked it. :)

ETA: Tux said I haven't been giving him enough LJ love. I should, what with the heavily-scribbled wrapping paper with the needles and book and the appearing on my doorstep, Christmas day, bearing ~~myrrh~~ cake.

There you go. A shoutout in bold. :) Will post at length about him and other people who deserve shoutouts later when I am lucid. And magically delicious.

I cannot believe I am here again.

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:28:27 GMT

Oh my God.

Puta. Putangina niyo lang lahat.

P.S. Went to Hidalgo for Photography supplies the other day, which reminded me of, well, Ricky Lee's Trip To Quiapo. (durr.) I am now officially a pauper. Or a starving artist, if you will - the prices are enough to leave anyone out on his ass on the pavement.

B&W Film: P295
Battery: P65
Photo paper: P900

Trip to Quiapo: Priceless.

Wait a minute, no it's not - that fucking trip cost us almost 2000 in transpo and expenses. Damn it!

I can't even use the camera yet because the battery was wrong.

That's it for my comeback. A few parting words, inspired by Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream (ain't I quaint? I can quote Shakespeare just like that now):

If we shadows have offended....

Fuck you.

.

Kiss From A Rose

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 17:15:41 GMT

The Meme that broke the camel's hiatus.

And no, I am not the camel. from ohnoah

Directions:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
--> I Want You by Savage Garden. (Ok....)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
--> Fall For You [Live] by Nina

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
--> Love Of My Life by Clay Aiken

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
--> Here With Me by Plumb

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
--> Slow by MYMP

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
--> All You Wanted by Michelle Branch

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
--> Can't Cry Hard Enough by The Williams Brothers

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
--> Release Me by Wilson Phillips

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK ABOUT YOU?
--> Let Me Know by MYMP (Winner!)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
--> Chrono Trigger 600 AD "Wind Theme" in Piano (Excuse me miss, I believe your geek is showing.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
--> Rush by MYMP

WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?
--> Spoiled by Joss Stone

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
--> Tell Me Where It Hurts by MYMP

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
--> Jealous by Nina

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
--> Castlevania's "Wicked Child" theme

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
--> Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me by Clay Aiken

WHAT WOULD YOU BRING ON A DESERT ISLAND?
--> Hard To Believe by The Eraserheads

WHAT IS YOUR PET HATE?
--> Buena Sera by Michael Buble

IF YOU COULD CHANGE THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
--> Hey Mama by The Black Eyed Peas

HOW ARE YOU FEELING AT THE MOMENT?
--> Para Sa Akin by Sitti

DO YOU HATE ANYONE?
--> Jok Jok Jok by Willie Revillame

DOES ANYONE HATE YOU?
--> Barbie Girl by Aqua

BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP, WHO/WHAT DO YOU THINK OF?
--> Baby Elephant Walk by Harry Mancini (I love this song. You probably do too, even though you don't know it. It's one of the most commonly used background music in gag shows and Dolphy movies)

I AM...?
--> Final Fantasy VII's Opening Theme

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
--> Kiss From A Rose

The Day After Tomorrow

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 07:06:55 GMT

I have been walking in a cloud.

Which is totally different from walking on a cloud, hence, totally different connotation. I can't fucking see!

There are some things I choose not to accept. I shall go mad if I think about them today. I know, I shall think about them tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!

Parts of that was Scarlett O'Hara. Someone told me I should work on removing that mentality. Meh, I'll remove it tomorrow. After all....

-----------------------------

My first class of the first day, Comm 130, was ok. I was taken aback by the fact that we went right into the thick of things and had a lesson. I was once again reminded of how I cannot live in a scientific society since I constantly question reality.

"This tree is real because it exists outside you." How do I know it exists outside me? I could've fabricated it in my mind.

"This tree also exists in the reality of a separate person, therefore, it is real." How do you know that separate person isn't in my mind? This entire reality could have just been fabricated by my mind. Like the matrix. My mind is capable of dazzling, technicolor things, yo.

Zeno's Paradox of Motion makes more sense to me than Descartes' "I think, there, I am." Heck, I've had loads of dreams where I questioned the reality of the dream, decided that it was real and not a dream (by virtue of the fact that I was there, questioning it) - only to wake up and find that I was wrong.

Of course, one might argue that the mere fact of waking up to find myself mistaken constitutes my existence. But did I really wake up? What if this is just another dream? Wait, smartypants, I wasn't talking about my reality, I was talking about the reality of the dream, not the reality of reality. Er.

I shall go mad. When you whittle down these arguments, you will end up with some sort of reality. Which is why the movies that make more sense to me than anything, ~~skitzo movies~~, Fight Club and Identity, always end up with some sort of reality.

That's what I'll do. Make a movie that truly does not make sense. Like Being John Malkovich, only crazier. And possibly with hair longer than John Cusack's in the film.

Half of what didn't make sense in that movie was Catherine Keener and Cameron Diaz's lezbinims. lol.

-----------------------------

Papa's annual (dur) birthday extravaganza was last night. Limang Lechon. That means weeks and weeks and weeks of Lechon Paksiw for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

It's the one time of the year when we get to eat Lechon Paksiw the right way. I'm happy.

P.S. I also got the TF Geog 1 in CRS last night. I've cancelled my slot in Geog 1 so many times over the past two years that I'm just thankful the subject still accepted me when I came back, on my knees, begging.

P.P.S. Singing ~~Shrieking~~ with blockmates (Aaron, Ikay, Ayla, Jenin, Poch, some other girl I didn't but would like to know, and later, Rachel) in the BC Dept's hall was the most fun I've had in ages. Now that was a proper BC enrollment - maingay.

I remember going to BC on Monday (when the graduating students were enlisting) and the hall was so quiet. I echo Ikay's sentiment. "Magiging ganyan ba tayo pag graduating na tayo?" Oh noes!

where pleasure moments hung before the takeover

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 13:03:17 GMT

Listening to Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" in commemoration of the reshowing of Shia LaBeouf's hosting gig on Saturday Night Live tonight.

I don't know why, but something about the song makes you feel like you're dying. And it's a very happy, peaceful feeling.

Not that I'm being emo, but Hide and Seek is the kind of beautiful, haunting tune that's played in Grey's Anatomy in that one moment of clarity - right before the bomb blows up in your face.

But then the song got to the "Mmmm Whacha say" part and I just felt like someone was going to shoot me in the back.

(To anybody who doesn't get this reference: Hello, most parodied clip on youtube. Just thank me for posting the link. If you searched for this on youtube, you would have had to wade through - and drown in - the sea of mostly-Godawful parodies. They add it to anything with a gunshot now...)

(The clip is, in itself, a parody of a lolarious "serious" moment in one of the most hilarious "serious" dramas evah.)

The mood of this post just went from pseudo-emo-pseudo-profound to stupid. ~~and lollarious!~~

Mmm whacha say....

No one wants to marry a bitch.

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 18:11:39 GMT

Scarlett O'Hara. I feel your pain. We are in the same boat, clinging to all the Charles Hamiltons of the world who would have us.

In the end, who really gets used?

Oh Scarlett. I wish I could have the strength you gained in the course of the ~~soeffinglong~~ movie.

And I wish I could get someone to stick it out with me, like Rhett Butler stuck it out with you.

Rap (shoutout for you) came home from Hong Kong today, and we had a lovely chat. There's really no one I could talk to the way I talk with Rap, and it was just so uplifting to be able to chat with him like this again. Somewhere in the conversation, he came up with a metaphor. It probably just cracked on my egocentricity, but I found it beautiful nonetheless:

Diamonds are only beautiful in the spotlight, when light hits it.
When there's no light hitting the diamond, it's just another rock, another glass piece.
So naturally diamonds would place themselves continually in the spotlight.

Aw.

P.S. I am teh new Jeopardy champion. Bow to me.

You Snooze, You Lose = Not Applicable.

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 19:19:26 GMT

It's 3 AM. I finally decide to turn in for the night.

I wearily trudge to the bedroom - only to discover that, once again, my brother has kicked me out of my own bed and is presently drooling on my pillow.

And I'm like "What the hell? He has his own bed!" This is not what you want to meet after a long and tiring day.

Pissed as I am, I hate disturbing people who are fast asleep, and I didn't get him anything for his birthday yesterday. I give up, pull my blanket out, and set up a futon in the family hall.

Yech. I feel like one of those husbands who've been exiled to the sofa. What did I do wrong? Oh well, at least I get to watch Ugly Betty 'til I nod off.

This futon is itchy. Methinks I might be more comfortable on the sofa downstairs. But it's scary down there. I'm hungry. I guess I'll have to wait 'til morning.

I always get hungry in the middle of the night. Possibly because my body clock is out of whack and I wake up at lunchtime, effectively missing breakfast and only having 2 meals a day. I must remind myself to keep rations on the second floor.

P.S. Check out my icon, Vivien Leigh is teh fierce. Looking back, I've been aspiring to be just like her -

to have her unparalleled beauty,
to acquire her 2-time-Academy-Award-for-best-actress-winning acting prowess,
to marry someone as handsome, as skilled (hello, considered by most as the best actor ever!) as Sir Laurence Olivier,

and last, but not least,

to be bipolar. Yes, I might have subconsciously been catching up with Lady Olivier in the field of manic depression.

Tsk tsk. Vivien Leigh and Laurence Olivier - the true golden couple of Hollywood. They don't make beauty like that anymore.

I can't feel anything....

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:44:33 GMT

- Evey Hammond (Natalie Portman), V for Vendetta.

I have this pattern, wherein immediately after a singularly happy ocassion, I suddenly feel really down, or rather, feel a total lack of purpose, or worse, simply become numb.

I think I'm going crazy.

Of course, ipso facto, the mere fact that I thought of that must mean I'm not. "Crazy people don't think they're going crazy, they think they're getting saner." - John Locke (Terry O'Quinn), LOST

It's really hard to explain, but I'm starting to understand what Sir Campos meant when he cited that the rebellious grunge/metal culture stemmed from the "bored" youth which lacked purpose in 90's USA. I'm starting to understand why all the emoshits take blade to flesh in order to "feel something". Being numb and detached from everything can drive a person insane.

Right now, I just can't feel anything. I'm like a dry husk, driftwood, floating without purpose, just going through the motions (which I can't say I still completely accomplish. Eating doesn't even make any sense anymore). I have no passion, no inspiration, not even a desire to do anything...

Except, perhaps, finish this entry.

Way to ruin a fantastic night. :( Maybe in the morning I'll feel something, like the desire to rave about teh awesome trip my family took to EK. But right now...meh.

What's the point? (Disjointed liek whoa)

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 06:14:34 GMT

Explain to me:

Why I was sitting on the sofa, my feet propped up on the coffee table, eating monggo and galunggong (it was a very "g" day) -

- watching Whoopi and Joy Behar bitch it out on The View at 11 PM the other night?

Days have been increasingly depressing as of late. One thing that perked me up was the Simpson's Treehouse of Horror marathon yesterday. I swear, Star World's "Must Scream TV" Halloween special (specifically, the Simpsons Marathons) is my reason for living, year after year. I celebrate it more than my birthday.

My life has been so screwy recently. The only thing that makes sense is my red nails. And my family is so funny. So very funny.... *smirk*

It's been 10 days since my last post, and I finally had that Gone With The Wind marathon yesterday. I absolutely love Gone With The Wind, and the fact that I stayed for the Overture, Intermission and En'tre Acte (instead of just fast-forwarding it since it was a DVD) meant that practically another hour was added to the runtime. It started at approximately 2 PM, and ended at exactly 5:46 PM. I didn't even notice it was that long. That's how enthralling Vivien Leigh's solitary raised eyebrow was.

Scarlett isn't a bad girl. She's just...misunderstood.

My sister and I had a Heroes S1 marathon Tuesday night. Then we stopped at about 4 AM, went to sleep, woke up at 9 the next day, continued, had a junior Bannoffe pie delivered, ate it while we watched, and finished at exactly 6 PM. Oh Ando....

That was what I did instead of going to Kule's Consol. And they all still came back alive. Poo poo.

I'm starting to detest an artist's lifestyle. All of my rakets just ended, and its very disconcerting not knowing where your next paycheck is coming from.

The family is going to Enchanted Kingdom for the first time tomorrow. On my money. So fucking scared....

This is the second day I missed both Breakfast and Lunch. I was awake for both, but basically, everyone just ate without me. And I don't like eating alone, so right now, I'm just waiting to catch the train at dinner.

Life is crap. And I'm not just talking about all the crap no-longer-on-the-floor-but-still-on-my-desk and the fact that ants are taking over our house and eating all the wiring.

Why I feel special

I just realized now that in my five semesters of enrolling at UP (2 sems last year, summer, and 2 sems this year, including the incoming one), I have always gotten my first choice of PE in the pre-enlistment at CRS. PE, of all things! People kill over getting slots in PE. I feel so special.

I not only survived Sir Aveciila, but I got a 1.5! And I'm a female, at that, so this is just mind-boggling. Hah. Despite the constant tension and fear for my person, BC 100 was my favorite class last sem. It also rekindled my love for old American movies, so this is all win-win for me. Bring on the palanggana ng mami!

C2 finally had the long-awaited UBE on Friday. Love them blokes. It's mindblowing how we all thought we wouldn't give a shit after 2nd year high school, and here we are, kami-kami parin nagkikita sa mga debut, nagu-UBE parin, magkakasama sa AS. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

My clavinova (read: electric piano. Not really mine, but since I'm the only one who plays) can play over 50 classics. I stumbled upon Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag at no. 45 yesterday and it just made me so...very...happy. I'm not kidding, the piano would probably be the first thing I would drag out in case of a fire. It's the one thing I don't regret about the great Reclamation.

Must. have. Banoffee. Arrgghhhh.

What is the deal with Red Ribbon's Banoffee pie? Half of the damn thing is cream! It almost justifies Starbucks' P105 pricetag for Banoffee. Almost.

Sembreak sucks.

P.S. My brother just kicked me out of my bed so he could sleep in it. WTF?

Frankly, my dear...I don't give a rat's ass.

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 03:34:22 GMT

Title is in no way related to post. I'm just channeling Rhett Butler right now.

Damn it, I forgot I was supposed to have a Gone With The Wind marathon last night (Anytime you watch GWTW is a marathon - it's so looong. 222 minutes? My God.), but I apparently forgot somewhere between Jay Leno and Ugly Betty.

Just to clarify, the shows mentioned above in now way reflect my taste in TV programs. I hardly watch TV anymore, but I was in the mood to numb my brain with senseless programming yesterday.

~~Shh. Don't listen to her, TV. You know I love you.~~

James Spader in Boston Legal for the win!

Anyway, I remember I read somewhere that there was some controversy over Rhett Butler's line,

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Apparenty, that kind of language was unheard of back in the day (ghasp!), and they wanted to change damn to darn. It was however, not the first film to use the word "damn". So correction, damn was rare, but not unheard of.

Still, they also wanted to change it to "Frankly my dear, I don't give a hoot." WTF? Can you imagine that? Why don't we change "hell" to "fudgesicles" while we're at it?

Granted, it still sounds better than some of the other options -

"Frankly my dear, my indifference is boundless."
"...it makes my gorge rise."

Wow. This did end up being about the subject line. Damn you subject line! You foiled my plans yet again!

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In other news, paolomanalo posted this yesterday, with the subject, "Close Your Eyes, Where Are You Right Now?"

So I did. The second I closed my eyes, I saw a canopy of trees that seemed to call to the horizon, the buzz of rushing lights, red, yellow, white, down below where time seemed to stop, and an immaculate black sky that seemed to stretch into forever.

Cheesy, I know.

But the moment I closed my eyes - I saw the rooftop. The most secure spot in the entire world.

I wish I was there, right now. Instead of here at home, in front of a pc, obsessing about things not worth my time.

I know they say that things aren't as they seem. But on the rooftop, frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

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I love Gone With The Wind. We got the movie gold of quotes from it - aside from "Frankly", we got such classic lines as:

Scarlett: You, sir, are no gentleman.
Rhett: And you, miss, are no lady.

and one of my personal favorites, evah:

"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."

Oh well. To quote Scarlett,

"Tomorrow's another day."

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Not-so-random-ramblings:

What was up with that age and double-Ts? Scarlett. Rhett
I love Sir Manalo. Too bad our already short time with him was cut even shorter when he left for Scotland. Tchah! I'll always have Doctor Tomorrow to remember him by.
Haha. I just remembered how my sister said she thought "Frankly" was a person.
Notice how I've recently been neglecting the sacred lj cut and posting heckuva long entries that clog up friends pages and piss people off? Well, I've just recently cleaned up my friends list and viewed my friends page and you know what? Most of my friends are like that. So, Quid pro quo. To quote a former debate coach, "Patigasan lang ng ihi yan." Lol.

Back to your lives, citizens.

Eye-gouging - starting now.

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 05:15:21 GMT

I promised I'd gouge out my own eyes (ala-Oedipus) if I ever become one of those people who post song lyrics on their blogs. However, the ocassion calls for an emotion I can't adequately translate into words, and nobody said it better than John Mayer.

Besides, Fergalicious just isn't appropriate.

What ocassion, you ask? My being an ass, that's what.

My Stupid Mouth
John Mayer

My stupid mouth has got me in trouble
I said too much again
to a date over dinner yesterday
and I could see she was offended
she said "well anyway"
just dying for a subject change

oh, another social casualty
score one more for me
how could I forget
mama said "think before speaking"
no filter in my head
oh, what's a boy to do?
I guess he better find one soon

we bit our lips
she looked out the window
rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess
with the salt and pepper shaker
and I could see clearly
an indelible line was drawn
between what was good, what just slipped out
and what went wrong

oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again
How could I forget
mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
oh, what's a boy to do?
I guess he better find one soon

I'm never speaking up again
it only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me
oh, I'm never speaking up again
starting now

one more thing
why is it my fault?
so maybe I try too hard
but it's all because of this desire
I just want to be liked; I just want to be funny
look like the joke's on me
so call me Captain Backfire

oh, another social casualty
score one more for me
how could I forget
mama said "think before speaking"
no filter in my head
oh, what's a boy to do?
I guess he better find one soon

I'm never speaking up again
it only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me
oh, I'm never speaking up again
I'm never speaking up again
I'm never speaking up again
starting now

P.S. Sorry for clogging up your friends page. This is actually the only John Mayer song I like. Do not try watching his live performance of this song on YouTube. Seeing John Mayer have a fit really spoils the song.

ETA: A stanza had two incorrect lines. Score one more for me.... :(

Lake house wtf?

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 14:08:08 GMT

I just reread what I wrote and I just found it funny. It still makes sense though. Time-travelling movies - so tempting to make, and yet so dangerous to release.

I have another question.

Kate says she went back to the Lake House after the guy died in her arms on Valentines' day. Therefore, the whole Kate-Alex correspondence and love story had the guy's death as a catalyst.

Fast forward - Kate had just found out that Alex was the dead guy, and had just sent a letter warning Alex to stay away and wait until 2008, hereby saving Alex' life. Kate is sobbing by the mailbox, worrying that it may be too late. But then, a truck pulls round the corner and Kate sees that it wasn't too late - Alex steps down from the truck. He had received her warning and is still alive. The two kiss.

But wait - if in fact, Kate did prevent Alex' death, then shouldn't everything else - Kate's going back to the Lake House, their correspondence, and eventually, Kate's sobbing at the side of the mailbox, trying to save Alex' life - be cancelled? Kate shouldn't still be sobbing at the side of the mailbox, because without Alex' death, the two wouldn't have even started writing to each other!

I love the Lake House, it's very sweet, but I think the whole time conundrum was handled better in the original Korean movie, Il Mare. It followed the Back To The Future II recipe for time-travelling success:

If you change something in the past (prevent Alex's death), then you can't go back to your present reality (Kate sobbing at the side of the mailbox). Instead, you go to an alternate reality (where Alex is not dead and the two will have to meet through other means because they didn't have the death as catalyst for the letter-writing).

The way this was done in Il Mare was the girl (in the future) warned the guy, but nothing more could be changed in her reality. The guy had already died in her past. But her warning created an alternate reality for the guy in the past.

The guy was able to evade his death, and, aware of his correspondence with the girl from the future, he goes to the house by the sea/beach house (Il Mare)
where the girl now lives. The girl has no idea who the guy is (because at this point, the correspondence hasn't started in the girl's time), and the guy basically says,

"I'm going to tell you a story you wouldn't believe."

But actually, in their situation, the guy's death wasn't really a catalyst for the letter-writing, so it wouldn't have mattered as much. Still, the matter was handled a lot better.

Five Stages of Grief

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 18:30:14 GMT

As detailed in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' book, "On Death And Dying, there are five stages that come to play when a terminally-ill patient is informed of their prognosis.

I apparently went through all of these stages today, which makes me wonder if I'm already typing the words of a condemned woman. Just look at what unfolded before (and during) my reporting in BC 100:

Denial (about 11 AM to right before 1 PM) - It's ok. I don't care if my reporting is at 1. I have plenty of time, even if it is Sir Avecilla's class. Tralala... *proceeds to troll friendster, eljay, whatever else cause-of-delay I could get my fingers on. Sees watch* Oh shit! It's 1:10! I don't have any visual aids yet!
Anger - see previous post. And all my text messages after it. I also got to MassComm at about 2 PM. I was cursing traffic the entire time. I was also angry at myself for cramming yet again - in true Xientian really-the-last-minute style.
Bargaining (2-3:00 PM) - Oh God, oh please. Please, Lord, <i>sana wala pa siya</i>. I'll never cram ever again if I could-just-make-it-to-this-class. *arrives at room, Sir isn't there. Short lapse back into the Denial (of the reality of a report), Sir comes in, and I realize I still haven't made my visual aids* Oh shit! *props bag up on armchair so Sir wouldn't see me writing on my manila paper, underlining notes from the "research" I just printed from the net 10 mins ago* Oh shit, oh shit. I swear, if you let me finish writing this in time for my report, I'll never cram again, I swear! I'll even study in advance for the finals exam. Please, Lord!!!
Depression (8 PM onwards) - Hangman as application for the very last report. We lost. Singko kami sa class participation. Oh poo. But that part wasn't really that depressing. I just felt really empty afterwards, and i guess the end of BC 100 contributed to it. It was like the death of a really good friend. A friend with which you lived in perpetual fear and tension, but a friend nonetheless. I can say this now, because I am not yet duly influenced by my grades - BC 100 was my favorite class, mostly due to Sir Avecilla. But wait, no, that's not really what's depressing about tonight.....

Correction. I apparently still haven't gone through Acceptance.

...waiting. Still waiting....

Hmmppf. Sir Avecilla won't treat me to "isang planggana ng mami" (I believe he was dead serious) if I flunk. Condemned woman? All I can say is:

Di ako pwede ma-"Phantom" next sem! I have too much at stake!

Will write more (because there's a lot more to tell) about the last day of BC 100 later. When I start feeling like it.

I swear, after all of this is said and done, I want to get a shirt that says,

" I survived Avecilla ! "

counting my chickens before they've hatched? *knocks on wood*

Because in CMC, that's quite something to be proud of.

Le Fckity Fck.

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 01:58:11 GMT

I think I'll name my non-existent child that. So people will wonder if he's french.

DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE UNDERLINE, TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND BOLDFACE - ALL AT THE SAME TIME? IT' LIKE THEY'RE SAYING "LOOK AT ME! MY WORDS ARE MOST SIGNIFICANT, YO."

~~'ello, Gov-nah! Sweep y' chimmney?~~

Reminds me of Mary Poppins. That movie was frakking scary. The old man died of laughter...he DIED. And you let little kids watch that?

I hate....

I hate. yun lang. I'm so pissed, and not for the reasons you think.

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In other news, I finally remembered what I wanted to post about As You Like It before. Rosalind (as Ganymede) said something to Phoebe, and I don't remember the exact text, since I'm not a Shakespeare buff, but it went a little something like -

"Sell yourself while you can. You are not for all markets."

And that just made me laugh so hard. Don't ask me.

I also love how every undesirable adjective during Shakespeare's time cn be adequately replaced with one word - FOUL. It's apparently the jack-of-all trades of negative traits during that time. I heard it in almost every line of the play:

Foul beast, foul smell, foul woman....

Now, we only use "Foul," if at all, for odors. If you refer to a "Foul Woman" nowadays, you might as well be handing her a douche.

Yo, I rapes the ellipsisesesesessesss.... Sue me.

ETA: Damn you, CRS!!!!

ETA2: Shoutout to sigarilyo and the rest of the hood. I miss the whole bloody lot of ye'.

ETA3: Fuck the No0bz. I'm just so fucking pissed right now. Fuck all of you. I don't really want to talk to any of you right now. (As if anybody ever wanted to talk to me)

ETA4: I'm going to have to practice holding my wee. (Heehee. Wee.) Or bring an arinola. It's going to be a make-up class marathon at Sir Avecilla's class today. Walang tulugan. And my report still isn't finished. WHAT IS IT YOU WANT FROM ME???

ETA5: Damn it! Damn you! I do not need excess stress right now. My life is already fucked up as it is!

Back to your lives, citizens....

Assessment

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 15:20:09 GMT

Assessment was - surprisingly - very, very ok.

It was really not as bad as I thought it would be. I basically knew what the verdict was gonig to be. I was just afraid of actually facing the jury. It's like rollercoasters - you know you'll come out in one piece, but the ride still effing scares the shit out of you.

There were some things that were said that slightly hurt me, but they were valid. All in all, it really wasn't harsh at all.

Really, what is wrong with me? Other people came out crying and I came out dancing.

Honestly, I felt good after the assessment. Like I finally knew how to fix my life.

I don't know. It's either I have a very, very high tolerance for harshness, or -

Munchkins just generally put people in a very good mood.

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Still reeling from The Dawn/Tulad ng Dati last night.

Tux got me a (Mike Sandejas) autographed Tulad ng Dati poster! *Squee* All the way from The Ahrneo...a really big one too. Salamat!

I'm so tempted to become a The Dawn fangirl, but I just can't be one of those artsy people who drink a lot of coffee and wear thick-framed glasses and go to the "serious" rock concerts and all that jazz.

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In other news, the shitteth hit the fanneth again immediately after my assessment.

Oh poo.